Heart Wrenching Moment – Changing Helper
We had to change a helper due to unforeseen circumstances. As we find ourselves adapting to someone new all over again, the focus still goes back to my child as he struggles to adjust to this big change.
How do we break the news to him? Should we bring him to the airport to bid goodbye?
Finally I decided that he will not go to airport and we said farewell from home. However, it did not went as planned due to his sleeping routine.
On Friday morning, my helper had a morning flight and had to leave at 6.30am. My son did not manage to say goodbye before she left as he was still asleep. Half an hour later, he woke up looking for her, which was his usual habit. I then informed him that she had went home and left. That led him to cry exasperatedly. As my husband sent the helper to the airport, I quickly phoned him to check if she had left and requested a video call at least for my son to say goodbye personally.
We managed to make the call and she happily waved goodbye to him and he cried even more. I quickly ended the call and comforted him. He then insisted that she come back at this moment.
I was upset and felt so helpless as that there was nothing I could do. Seeing him cry out desperately for her, my tears dropped. Yet, I picked him up swiftly and started to divert his attention away again. For the next few hours, we went on again and again. Each time he asked for her, I would say that she was gone and he cried. We then changed our approach to distract him with toys. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it doesn’t. Finally, we lasted through the day and I knew the worst had yet to come. By night fall, he would want her to pat him to bed.
At this time, my new helper had already arrived and I was busy briefing her since then. It was amazing how much work was needed to be done in a household when I realise I had been talking for a straight 3 hours. The new helper tried to carry him but was rejected. Being the fussy individual whereby even me as his mum could not touch him when he doesn’t want me to, he ended up falling asleep at 11.30pm – a far cry from his usual 9pm timing.
We thought we could finally had some rest. Before we knew it, he woke up at about 5.30am for milk and asked for my previous helper again. So, we went through the motion again to tell him she was no longer here. He went on crying and finally 20 minutes later or so, he calmed down and settled for his milk. Therefore also starting the day super early. As I had to bring my dad to hospital for physiotherapy so I had to leave my son and the new helper on their own in the morning. Surprisingly, when I came back I was told that my new helper managed to feed him and even played with him for brief moments despite him keep on telling the helper not to touch his toys.
As you can imagine, the next few days went on as such, repeating the cycle again, each time he asked for the previous helper only to realise that she was gone. However, we finally manage to see some “light” when he told my hubby on day 2 that “Jie Jie went back home already.” I hope he is embracing the change now finally. With that, I hope he is growing up as well in his development stage. So another “tick” on his milestone checklist and here we goes again to another adventure.
Felicia Tan, speaker, blogger and author of To Baby With Love, Lost And Found and A Gift From Heaven draws her experience from two miscarriages and one rainbow baby, had a deep understanding of the issues faced by pregnant mothers, mothers who have lost their children and being a mother.
Having gone through an arduous journey filled with disappointments, she started Art Of Life to share about her journey and how she overcame them through a positive mindset.
Her stories has led to features on The Straits Times, Motherhood, Young Parents and more.
Read more about her.https://www.babyclub.com.sg/heart-wrenching-moment-changing-helper/FeaturedParentingMy son had just passed his 2 year old mark. He is now a bubbly, cheeky and happy boy who likes to run around the house. Now, he is a handful and it is impossible to take your eyes off him as he might fall. Then again, isn't this...Felicia TanFelicia Tanfeliciatan@babyclub.com.sgAuthorBaby Club Singapore